Terrible Two's or Thunder Three's

I would like to start this post off by saying my 3 year old son is amazing. I love him to bits and think the utter world of him. The following read, however, is a rant, a therapy and an explanation to my neighbours that I'm trying my best to stop the crying, whinging and screaming.

Jamie was a terrific two year old. A happy, cheeky and intelligent little boy who whinged because he was a late talker but on the whole a very happy chap. I used to question if we'd ever get the dreaded terrible two's but they never came. My god, he has made up for it in the last month though. Jamie is currently 3 years and 4 months. His speech is getting much better and i can practically see his mind working away, challenging himself to solve any obstacle in his way. Unfortunately i now think I'm one of those obstacles. Every question is answered with a defiant no. Every teeth brush or hair wash is a wrestling match. There was a meltdown today because i touched his wheelbarrow and another meltdown because i needed to wipe the snot build up on his cheeks. I will caveat, he's extremely sensitive right now after a horrendous virus brought home from nursery. I'm also desperate for him to eat but he refuses food because he can't stomach it currently with his illness. I pity his little runny nose and how hungry and exhausted he is. But I'm also only human. The screams and whines, over the past week particularly, have truly tested every fibre of my partner Mike and I's patience. I want my happy little boy back.

As a problem solver myself, I've evaluated every angle as to why my beautiful son has resorted to mutiny.

1. Am I not strict enough? Does my child 'walk all over me'?

2. Are other nursery children a bad example?

3. Is the illness after illness from nursery taking it's toll?

4. Are Mike and I not doing a good enough job of parenting?

5. Am I not giving him enough attention?

6. Is he jealous of his new-born baby sister?

7. Doe he need more stimulation?

I can't pretend I haven't shouted, used the naughty step, tried bribery, ignorance or threated to take toys away after trying my best to stay calm and positive. I pride myself on staying cool when the shit hits the fan so to speak. But never have I experienced the mental overload of an ill, stubborn and high pitched toddler on a mission to assert his 3 year old power. My positive parenting cap is well a truly worn out.

As with every other challenging stage I keep telling myself 'it's a phase'. New-born sleep deprivation, teething, potty training - these are all stages and no doubt, I'll look back on this post with my happy little boy cuddled up to me on the sofa. But i need to acknowledge this struggle. The toll it's taken on Mike and I's relationship, the physical tiredness, mental exhaustion and most importantly the despair of Jamie with tears rolling down his face.

I'm writing this to remind myself that not all parenting days are glorious. In fact, many days are hard. Social media would have you believe that all children must be wonderous and magnificent little beings 24/7. I'm guilty of believing this hype on occasion and then feeling terrible that my child is sulking because he couldn't eat another biscuit. If you're reading this, feeling in a state of distress and misery over how bad your day has been dealing with a toddler and your own emotions; please, please give yourself a break. The fact you're reading this shows how great a parent you are. You're child is perfectly normal. They're good for everyone else and little shits for us because we're their safe place. They know we'll love and care for them no matter how much they scream, cry, hit or overreact. Give yourself a pep talk. This too, is just a phase. And you will get through it.